05/30/12

We should all get to pick a group of people that will no longer be allowed to get married.  Insane people went first and they picked homosexuals.  Ok, my turn.  I pick the religiously motivated, sexually abstinent.  First off, nothing is funnier than watching someone die a virgin.  But more importantly, their children end up being those creepy, delusional, brainwashed kids that wear white button up shirts and blue pants lugging backpacks full of bibles door to door.  I’m sick of them interrupting my porn time.  Problem solved.

05/9/12

I live on the border and have a front row seat to The Comedy of Errors or, as you refer to it, North Carolina.  First, they ban gay marriage.  Then, they ban the ability to appeal the ban on gay marriage.  Ok guys, you’ve ‘solved’ that issue…let’s move on.  What’s next?  Hey, I got it: round up all the midgets and put them under a big water sprinkler until they grow to be the same height as everyone else.

04/17/12

When my sibling and I would fight over a toy my mother would take it away and neither of us would get to play with it. We should take marriage away from homosexuals AND heterosexuals. That way I wouldn’t have to listen to brainwashed morons quoting a bible OR dingy girls that have never had an original thought drone on and on about how their wedding is going to be so different and fun. See, it’s win-win.