There are more than 300 million people in America.  That will end up being a lot of dead people in 50 years and your outdated burial rituals are going to waste an inconceivable amount of perfectly good land…forever.  No one is that important.  Can you just bury the body long enough to have your little theatrics then dig it up, burn it and make way for the next cold, lifeless body?  Good, now each town will have a recycling cemetery the size of a convenience store parking lot.  As a reward I should get half of all the land I just saved you.


If you want to take a dead body, dress it up, put it in an expensive box, load it into a specially made car, tote it all the way across town and bury it in the most overpriced hole on the planet while crying and carrying on over the reading of a stupid passage from a 2000 year old novel go ahead.

But I’m not getting out of your way when you cross me at an intersection with your hazards flashing and your funeral procession flags waving.

I have things to do.

Screw you and screw the dead person.