Meteorologists, far and above politicians and religious leaders, have the ability to turn the masses into ravenous hoarders with the technological equivalent and track record of a fortune cookie. I am forced to keep up with the weather predictions so I don’t run out of booze and smokes at the same time Breeze Tracker 9 releases the hounds. Standing in a line full of fat-ass bible thumpers planning for the apocalypse by buying up all the Twinkies and being told by a 17 year-old pimple faced kid that I can’t drink vodka in line makes me dream of the actual end of days.