You’re not handicapped, you’re just really fat.  Get out of the powered wheelchair and walk…hell, jog.  And why in the hell are you in the grocery store buying more food?  No, I will not get the Chips Ahoy! off the top shelf for you.  You can’t see your own vagina, can you?


New rule for pants manufacturers: maximum 4 belt loops. I feel like I’m weaving baskets trying to get dressed in the morning…or afternoon. I wouldn’t need a belt if America wasn’t so damn fat. I can’t find 30×34 but I can find a pile of 44×30.