05/16/12

Take your kids by the ears, put them on bicycles without training wheels, pads or goddamn helmets, build them a ramp out of bricks and scrap wood and make them jump it over and over until they bust they’re ass so many times that they and, more importantly, you have shed every possible tear and built up a tolerance to the slightest daily pain.  There, now that you see your kids aren’t nearly as fragile as you thought they were will you knock it off with the bullying bullshit?  Besides, your definition of ‘bullying’ has become a black hole sucking up all forms of typical childhood jokes, pranks and insults.  Oh, and take that goddamn safety net off of the trampoline, pour Dawn soap all over the surface, put the water sprinkler underneath and make the kids play King of the Mountain.