We will always have those guys that come into a bar, tell everyone how great they are, talk down to the bartender and complain about how weak the drinks are.  Your drinks are weak because the bartender’s asshole-o-meter pegged out the instant you walked through the door.  Here, take a drink from my glass.  Taste good?  That’s what it tastes like to NOT be an asshole.


Drinking and driving laws are bullshit.  The DMV should go to the bar with me.  After every drink we’ll get in my vehicle and take the driving test.  If I pass I’ll blow into the breathalyzer.  As soon as I fail the driving test we’ll know my personal BAL limit.  That number will be printed on my license.  That way I can stay at the bars longer.  And that is how I plan to stimulate the economy.