Be prepared because next year I’m taking over St. Patrick’s Day.  I realize it’s fun for you to dress up in silly green outfits and walk around punch-drunk spilling more green beer than you drink.  I just wish you would realize that it’s not fun for me.  First off, quit asking me why I’m not wearing green.  I don’t wear green because it makes me look skinny, bald and annoyed.  Second, I will be carrying around a globe.  If you can’t point out Ireland on said globe you will be sent home.

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