They said Jerry Sandusky is getting a mandatory 30 years, but they don’t mean that. He’s going to die in a few years and they’ll take him out. I think there should be a rapist wing in prison where they serve their sentences dead or alive. That way, the next convicted rapist gets a dead body as a roommate. That would make for a good roommate sitcom to fill the void that Bosom Buddies left behind.
When I see a guy at a bar wearing a replica jersey of a famous professional athlete, I get a little irritated. But when I see a girl with him, I become downright angry. What kind of girl would follow around a grown man playing dress-up? Then, I got to thinking: If there was a girl dressed up as a famous porn star, I would definitely follow her around. And that’s how I explain to children that you should always put things into perspective.